Indecisive Longing



It wasn't until I talked to you on the phone
That's when I realized just how much I missed you
Your voice brought back so many memories
I haven't thought about the "thistle" incident in years
And for a time it was like 1995 all over again
When we were still an "us" and mostly happy

It wasn't until we both hung up the phone
That's when I realized just how little I missed you
We both know that this life is ever changing
This is a fact based on a principle we both understand
Friendship was nothing more than a mutual effort of "use"
And when the "use" was depleted so too was the friendship

I don't have to like this reality but I do understand it
So when "us" ended I forced myself to move on
I'll admit there are times I wonder how you are fairing
There are times when I yearn to see your child
There are times when I feel like I lost my right arm
And there are times when the loss of you is overwhelming

And in these times I say fuck growth, fuck change
And fuck all things new and improved
I say let's stay the same, let's never grow
Let's never alter and let's never stretch our wings

Let's stay comfortable and out of control
Let's stay mediocre, hidden, let's stay children




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