Endless Circle

 


 

Okay, I'll admit it...I'm a liar
And for most of my life
I've been living a lie

Eating...Breathing...Existing
Living this lie
Day in...Day out...it's all been a lie

Much like a comfortable pair of shoes
Worn and scratched with holes in the soles
Yet I still can't bear to throw them out

That's how I feel about my lies
They're down deep inside me
Waiting for that day I need them most

What is the lie
Everything...Nothing
Or maybe my lies are only a dream

In that case...a bad dream
No...a nightmare of sleep
Dreams without ending or absolution

In these dreams I see myself doing things
Like someone has taken control of my actions
And I am a prisoner to each and every whim

The dream continues with me hating everything I am
But once on that path there are no detours
And I must walk on until I find the logical end

I know that lurking in the jumbled mess of my mind
There is a good person that lies just out of reach
Yet when I grab out my fingers find nothing but smoke

What would happen if I could only stretch out
Pretend just long enough until I make it mine
Or even...me

My entire life eludes me
My every fantasy an impossibility
It remains the impossible dream

To those that reject me
To those that provoke me
All of humanity is a part

It's about my desire to be something I'm not
Independent...Strong...Funny
Maybe just like somebody else

I'll settle for anyone else
To live a day without the baggage of the past
Without the present boiled down to the sum of one

This started with one...an image
And to become this image I had to alter my behavior
I destroyed my past and gave the world a new man

And the more I lie
The more I must hide the truth with more lies
An ideology of a shadow that consumes me

I was forced aside until I became a non entity
I have never existed nor will I ever exist
I am passionless...I am the endless circle

 


 

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